Isn't She Lovely?

Isn't she beautiful? Of course we are a little biased. She came a little earlier than expected and we not really ready, but are you ever really ready for that kind that of change in your life? Already, she has brought such joy to our lives. Her big sister and brother love her like crazy and want to part of everything to do with her, well except change her diapers! Nick can't walk past her without giving her a kiss and usually it is 5 kisses! He will hold her and say "I think I just heard her say she loves her big brother!" He is such a nut. Dan says that someday he won't have to worry about who Abby dates, because Nick will take of that. He is pretty protective of her. Emily loves to mother her and wants to help in almost anyway (no diapers), she love to help me with bottles and to pick out her clothes. I hope they will always be close, I never had a sister and always wanted one, I know that there is a special bond there and I hope it is never broken.

Well, just thought I would put up a little update and show-off a little picture. By the way she was awake when I snapped this picture. Is it gas? or is she just as happ about us as we are about her? I think it is the second. Our kids are so smart! ;>)

Life

Maybe I am just extra sensitive right now, due to changing hormones, but what a heart wrenching couple of days. A few days ago, a cousins daughter lost her first baby. She was 3 months along and so excited. While she and her husband weren't planning this pregnancy, God had a different plan and He beat those little pills. They have been nothing but excited since they found out, planning, and asking a ton of questions all the typical things first time mommies do. Then yesterday, out of nowhere, she miscarried. Their whole family was crushed of course and are supporting them all the love they can muster. This would normally make me feel extremely blessed to have two beautiful children and a third on the way and yet still sad because of their loss. This time those feelings are accompanied by guilt, because I have never had a problem getting or staying pregnant. I can't fully understand their loss, but I truly do feel for them.

Well with all those emotions running wild in my system, a day later still, I was driving down the road and passed the local Woman's Medical Services. The only thing I have ever heard anybody going there for is to have an abortion. I have literally driven by this place hundreds of times and have never seen anyone coming or going, only protesters standing with their signs out front. Well on this day, a young girl all hunched over and looking to be in pain, was walking out with what could have been a mother and sister or friend. The grief that hit me at that moment was so real I was shocked. It might as have been me coming out of that clinic. I couldn't help but think of the baby I am carrying and the one our cousin lost. I just couldn't believe that someone would CHOOSE to end their babies life. I wasn't just sad I was angry how doesn't know or care how many women and men would love to have that baby? What gives her the right to say it is time for that life to end? I have always thought abortion was wrong, but I don't think I ever believed it as strongly as I do now.

Thank You Lord for allowing me the children I have. Help me to remember to pray for all the lost souls who think it is up to them to decide whether a child lives or not.

What can a little card mean?

A lot. This is a lesson we have learned after the death of Dan's dad. Everyday, we have been recieving sympathy cards sometimes from people we hardly know. The words written inside are a comfort especially the personal notes. I, myself, am terrible at sending cards. I tend to be a procrastinator, finally deciding it has been to long why bother? Now, I know why, and I will be better, because I truly know the value of that little piece of paper and a short personal note.

Husband, father, grandfather and friend.

Thanks for checking back. We have had a very rough summer so far. Starting Memorial day weekend Dan's dad has been in and out of the hospital with problems arising from his colitis and a blood disorder which causes his blood to clot excessively. Well, because he had to be on blood thinners for the blood disorder he bled more from the colitis. So he had been in and out of the hospital, getting transfusions as needed. Finally he had just lost to much blood and he went into shock. He passed away on Friday June 29th at about 9:30 am. It was a complete shock, he had been accepted to U of M to get a second opinion about having his colon removed and for consultation about his blood disorder, we were just waiting for a bed. At no time until about 10 hrs before died did we think death was even a consideration.

Fortunately, while we hugely greive the loss of this awesome husband, father, grandfather and friend, we know that he would not have wanted to suffer. He lived a life that outlined the way every christian should live. He was kind to everyone, no matter what. He would give anyone, anything, if it would help them, no matter what. He loved his family, even those of us who married into it, no matter what. You never wondered where you stood with dad, he always told us he loved us and gave us hugs everytime we parted ways. He was totally devoted to his grandchildren, taking time to answer any question, even those asked multiple times. He never got frustrated with them. I have even witnessed him sitting on the floor in Em's room and playing Barbies or babysitter or whatever other make-believe game she wanted to play. At 70 yrs old he rarely told them no.

I learned a great deal from him as well. While my relationship with my father was rocky while I was growing up, my husbands dad was always his best friend. Don loved me unconditionally form the moment, things became serious between us. He has always treated me like I was one of his own. In his death, he has given me the ability to forgive my dad. Finally, I realize that these little grudges just aren't worth it. You never know how long you have.

So, now, we are all trying a little harder to love unconditionally, give as much as possible, work hard, be forgiving, and to seriously not sweat the small stuff. Thanks Don for everything you have given to us. Thanks God for the gift of Don.

It's a Girl!!

Just found out the baby I am carrying is a girl! Yeah! Now, I certainly would have been happy even if it was a boy, I am just really looking forward to pink again! We have so many clothes from my first daughter that are still like brand new I can't wait to reuse them. You see she was the first grandchild on my side of family and the grandparents went a little crazy, not to mention a certian Aunt that only had one boy of her own, and always wanted a girl too! First she spoiled me, now my daughter. Therefore, it seems she often has more than she can wear before she outgrows it! What a wonderful problem to have, how truly blessed we are!

Emily is very excited about having a sister, Nick on the other hand, is in a little bit of denial. When I told him that it was a baby girl he just said "Nooo, silly, its my baby brother!" When I said "No, the doctors took pictures of my belly and they saw that it was a girl." He just looked at me and laughed. He replied " The baby is not in your tummy!!" I said "Yes, It is" and he proceeded to insist that the baby was not in my belly. Finally, I said "Okay then, where is it?"
He told me that it was at the store and all we had to do go in this one door and pick one out and then we would have his baby BROTHER. What could I say? He is only three. So I just laughed, and told his dad that he will have work cut out for him some day! I know that Nick will adjust and love his sister very much. Someday!

The Amazing Kasey!

Just thought I would give an update on this amazing niece of ours. She hopefully has had her last chemo treatment boy is she excited about that! The reason I think she amazing is that she has handled all of this with so much poise and maturity. I truly do not think I could have handle it as well! The whole time she kept her eyes on God and done her best to stay active and positive. She has continued to play soccer and has even attended some dance practices. God has really been very good to her through-out this whole ordeal. She has experienced very little illness and her immune system never took the dive they expected it to. I believe she attended school though this whole thing too.

On losing her hair, at first, of course she was upset. They got it cut really short to make the transition a little easier and they also ordered wigs right away. She was excited about that, she was getting two one straight, one curly, her reply was " I've never a choice before!" (she has naturally curly hair). One day she came home from school and told her dad that her friends had picking hair off her back all day and she was already sick of sick of it. So she asked to cut it all off and he did. She wore scarfs until her wigs came and then she started wearing those. But after a while she found them hot and uncomfortable, so she quit wearing them and went back the colorful scarfs. Her dad one for every member of the soccer team and they all wear them. There are also several kids at school who wear them as a sign of support.

I think I have heard of only one complaint she has made and that is that she gets tired of feeling smothered. Everyone cares so much for her and I think it gets overwhelming to her at times. I know she appreciated it, but she just wants to be normal! So, I say just what is normal anyway? I think she is, she is thirteen she hasn't missed a school dance, she went on her school band trip to the Mall of America, she has continued dancing and playing soccer as often as she can. I think she has done a great job of staying "normal" ! She is a fighter and the prognosis is great! I can't wait till we get to visit with them this summer, I don't think she realizes what an inspiration she is, I know that given the chance she will do anything she can to give back. We love you Kasey!!

The difference between boys and girls...

is sometimes shocking to me. For instance, take this beautiful bouquet, made from re-purposed egg cartons, pipe cleaners, foam cut-outs and an empty juice bottle. Nick made it for during bible study the other day. When Emily first saw it she said it was beautiful, I said the same. Later, when I again thanked for the 'flowers' he replied "It's not flowers, it's just garbage." I couldn't believe it, how do you explain recycling to a three-year old? In his mind this was just stuff we usually throw away. So, I said "well they are not real flowers, but they are pretend flowers and I love them!" He just gave me a look that only Nick can give me, it never fails to make me feel that he is thinking he is looking at an idiot, but he will humor me. So I let it drop. Later that same evening, Dan came home and was talking to the kids about what they had done that day. He asked Nick about the flowers he made for me. Nick looked at him and in a somewhat hushed tone he said "It's just garbage but we're pretending that they are flowers." He said it as though he thought the whole idea was nuts! Maybe it is. But, in this mothers eyes they are beautiful!

PLEASE PRAY!

There is so much going on our family right now, it is hard to believe. First, and foremost, Kasey needs our prayers. This is getting harder on her by the day. She has had her hair cut very short and will soon be getting a wig. She has also been getting a little more ill with each treatment she recieves. Also, her immune system is weaking even with the daily shots and school is in question this week, she is hoping to be able to go so she doesn't get to far behind. At 13, she is incredibly strong and brave and I hope she can feel all the love that is being sent her way!

Closer to home, Nick has to have an MRI for his knee. The Dr. believes the ligaments are weak and he will have to have physical therapy to strengthen those ligaments. He will probably also have to always wear a brace on that knee when playing sports.
Emily has also been having some health issues, and while the Dr. says they are reversible it may take as long as a year to correct.
Dan and I just got over what we think may have been food poisening, but since the flu is also going around it is hard to be sure. Glad it is over though!

Dan's Aunt on the other side of the state, stepped in a large hole this weekend and broke her ankle. Looks like she will be out of commission for a few weeks too. She may even have to have surgery. She really did a good job on it!!

So needless to say, we could all use some prayers! Thanks, and I hope everything is right in your world!

Oh my knee!!!

Well after not having posted for a long time there is a lot happening in our little world. We are working on getting a house built, Emily and I are looking forward to a trainride to Chicago this weekend and I am pregnant!! Yep, we are expecting our third child, yes it was planned, and our other kids have mixed reactions. Our 6 (almost 7) yr old just said it better be a girl! She says she just can't handle another "distracting" little brother! Our three year, when asked if he would like to have a baby in the house just said "Noo, but I would like some birdies in the bird house." I think he misunderstood! He is now excited to be a big brother.

Just to keep our lives interesting, as all that weren't enough, We took a trip to the E.R. tonight. Nick (the 3yrold) was running and his knee gave out on him and now he won't walk on it because he says it hurts. They did not find anything wrong, which is good, but he still won't walk on it and it obviously hurts, So I will give it another day and then take him to our family Dr. to get his opinion.

We are just thankful, for our overall health. We are truly blessed. We just found out that our 13 yr old niece has Hodgkins. They are optimistic that it was caught early, but were told even if it is advanced it is still very curable. So, we are all praying all the time for her! And she would appreciate any all prayers that were sent her way. She is very outgoing and optimistic, so far the only thing that is really concerning her is needles. But, she will have a port put in so that won't be an issue!

We believe that God works miracles everyday and that she will be healed! If you are moved to please pray for Kasey and her family!

Thanks and Happy Spring!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!! I am doing my best in the middle of all the chaos to remember the real reason for the season. The Baby that was born so that we could all be saved and spend eternity in Heaven with Christ our Lord and Savior! My prayer for all of you is that you will have the PEACE that only HE can provide. With Love, Julie

Oh, No! Christmas tree!!

The kids had a great time decorating the tree. I have let go of the thought of a perfectly decorated tree and have been letting them do most of the decorating for the last couple of years. Very often it is very heavily decorated at the bottom, i do put a few up at the top to try to balance it out a little.

Anyway, we have a very big artificial tree, it doesn't look like it but that is because we only put up about a quarter of it in order to fit it in our tiny living room (got a great deal on it and someday we will have enough room for all of it). Because only part of it is up it is very off balance, every year I tie it t a cement block in the back to keep it stable. I did that this year too, but must not have tied it tight enough and as Nick was looking at some of the ornaments the tree toppled over on him. It scared him but did not hurt him, as Emily and I kind of stiffled our giggles and I tried to fix the problem. Just as I thought I had it fixed, it fell again. This time it was not even funny a little bit. So now, it is up it is stable, only one ornament was broken, and next year I am thinking a small table-top tree might be just perfect! The bonus though, my curious, mischievous 2 year old will not touch the tree now. He thinks it will fall on him again!

Decorating with style!

I love this picture of Nick decorating the tree. He often stand like this when in he is being silly which he usually is! This is so him, it looks like he has filled his pants but I assure you it is just the way he is standing. He is so full of joy and mischief. He really keeps us on our toes. I don't think we have ever laughed so hard as we have at him. He always has a way to make us laugh, and often it gets him out of trouble! I think we are really in for it!

Aren't they Cute!

I am learning not to take them for granted and to cherish every moment. I have a friend who really has shown me a thing or two-hundred about being a great Mom. I know I will never be Jody, but I can always try! Thanks Jody for your inspiring words day after day! For always doing your best to let God shine through you. Believe me He does!

What works for me...

or maybe it's what doesn't work for me. I think I have finally figured it out, drugs are great! Now don't get nervous, I am talking about anti-depressants. For a long time I have put off asking about them even though I knew I was needing them. I was in a hole and I couldn't climb out. I was thinking very irrationally, telling myself things I knew were not true. Even worse, I started to believe some those things. In the month that I have been taking the pills I have changed. Maybe others haven't noticed because, on the outside, nothing was wrong, but I know something is different. I no longer dwell on all the negatives I am able to go thru life without focusing on the bad things. I want to take care of myself, look good for my husband, and I like my children better now. So anyway, hating myself, putting myself down, and not valuing me, these things no longer work for me. WOW, what a difference a month and some little pills can make!

A Face only a Mother could Love?

I certianly don't think so! This is the newest member of family, adopted from my mom and dad. My dads allergies just got to bad and they had to get rid of him, so here he is. What a blessing! He is such a sweet dog, loves the kids and minds very well. He wieghs 94 lbs though and it ought to be real interesting trying to bathe him! I will let you how it turns out. By the way do I have any readers at all out there?

This is my not so little boy. I can't begin to tell you the paces he puts me through! Through and through he is a BOY! He does things at times at that you have to wonder if that really happened or if you just imagined it, and then he does it agian! Like for instance, he very often will jump in the air stick his legs out in front of him and land fully on his bottom. OUCH! If I did that there would be a lot of things permenently out of whack!
But, no matter how goofy or strange, or maybe sometimes becuase of it, I love him like crazy!

1 down many to go!

Not the greatest picture, but one of the greatest loves of my life! I can't believe she almost 6 and just lost her very 1st tooth! It is amazing how she grows and matures and yet it never really hits me until something major comes about. Like, losing a tooth, or the first day of Kindergarten.
Now kindergarden is almost over and summer is almost here. Emily is playing soccer for the first time and next fall school all day, every day! I really need to remember to cherish this time with her because next thing I know it will be time for High School Graduation.
Well, enough rambling for today. Don't even know if anyone is reading. But, maybe this will be therapuetic for me. Have a BLESSED Day!

My First Post

Well, I only really only signed up for this so I could reply to Nitty Gritty Nannies site. But what the heck, I guess I will actually put up a post and see if anyone stumbles across. If you are reading this blog please comment, if for no other reason than just to boost my ego! :)